我到底在干嘛

学生曾经问我惭愧和内疚的分别。

我说，惭愧是觉得自己做得不好，觉得不好意思。内疚多有因为伤害了别人而觉得难过、过意不去。

此时，我带着惭愧和内疚的心情写这篇博文。

我，口口声声说我不需要我的孩子考第一名或100分。我，是一名曾经得过“爱心老师”奖的教育工作者。我，甚至是“模范华文老师”得奖人。但是，我在教自己的孩子读书的时候，我没有爱心，没有耐心，我更加不是模范，而是一个极端错误的示范。

教幼稚园一年级的媛媛读英文听写，才教15分钟我的火就开始来了。

“练习了10多次还记不住！！”、“你有没有用你的脑！！！”、“这么简单的拼音！记起来！记起来！记起来！！！”我开始吼叫，媛媛开始慌张。她越慌，越记不得，她越记不得，我越气，我越气，我变得更加暴怒。丢书、拍桌子、摔东西这些恶劣的行为便出现了。

丢给媛爸处理，我带着愤怒到厨房去做点事让自己冷却。冷静下来后，内疚得不得了。

我没有尊重自己的孩子的学习进度。我没有给予我的孩子一个教育工作者应该有的耐心和爱心。我丑陋恶劣的行为，甚至是伤害了孩子的心灵。看到朋友们爱心满满地督促自己的孩子学习，我真的自惭形秽。

我到底在干嘛？

我是在恼怒她“不成材”吗？我是在“望女成龙”吗？我是被工作耗完了我的耐心和爱心吗？我是在揠苗助长吗？还是，我在自责因为自己忙而没有时间陪她学习而趁机发泄情绪？

也许什么都有一点。

但这不是重点。重点是，我写这篇博文自省，诚实地面对自己的缺点，提醒自己要拿出更多的耐心和爱心来教导自己的孩子。况且，说真的，媛媛是一个相当伶俐的孩子。我到底要什么？我对她的要求是什么？我要搞清楚。这样，我才能做一个更好的妈妈。

Deepavali 2011

It all started with an innocent call for a gathering on the upcoming public holiday, which was Deepavali.

Then, it spun into an Indian themed party cum kids' mini concert. Being the usual crazy group of friends who take fun very seriously, we decided to potluck our favourite Indian food, serve teh tarik, put banana leaves on our plates and eat with our fingers for the gathering. We adults were supposed to come up with performance items too.

It was a gathering we very much looked forward to. We have not had a gathering for a long time and the mommies also had a hilarious discussion on the gathering. And my best friend HappyPig would be joining us for the gathering too! Unfortunately Viv and family were caught in the rain when they went cycling in ECP that very afternoon and Jac caught a cold. They couldn't make it to the gathering. What a shame...

We were serious about dressing up. Bindi, fake nose ring, bangles, traditional Indian costume, jasmine flower... somebody suggested putting coconut oil on our hair but the rest of us violently objected to the idea.


As usual, Jaimie thinks she looks super pretty.

We started with the kids' performance. Every child wanted to "go on stage" first. Some tears was shed due to the unhappiness caused by switching of order. I thought this only happened in getai...?

Rain, the very talented athletic, swung her hula hoop continuously for at least 5mins. Wow. We couldn't even manage 5 rounds.

Jaimie did her Waka waka and Chinese Opera with a Bollywood twist.

Cherrlyn the passionate dancer put up 2 lovely dances for us.

The adults were supposed to perform but look at the spread! We were all salivating and couldn't wait to start our feast. Forget about the performance. Let's dig in!!

As Joyce's birthday was last week and Wolf's coming up real soon, we had a little celebration for them. We put candles on the Indian rojak and sang them the birthday song.

The awesome mommies!

The children~ all girls!!

What is a celebration without playing with sparkles? We went to the garden and the kids had fun drawing in the air with their sparkles. Jaimie actually burnt 4 of her tiny fingers during the play but she did not notice the pain until the party was over.

I say this all the time but I must still say it in every post. We are so blessed to have this group of awesome friends! Each and every gathering is loaded with fun and laughter, and we brought home lots of fond memories (and left over food) at each gathering. Love you guys!!

The Budding Poet

She wrote this with some of my help. :) Her first poem!!

Lion City Acrobatic Show

Wolfgirl was really nice. She had some complimentary tickets and when she texted me and asked me if I was keen to bring Jaimie to watch the "Lion City Acrobatic Show", I said ok. I had totally no idea what it was and thought it was some acrobatic performances by our very own local talents.

Well, it turned out that it was a National Education journey for our youngs one. And the acrobats were from Shanghai! The show was divided into 5 acts. Act 1 would be the beginning of Singapore, starting from Sang Nila Utama braved a thunderstorm and landed in Singapore. And then the development of Singapore and then you know the rest of the story.

The children were quite impressed with the laser, sound, light, colours, dance, acrobatic performance etc. Honestly it was an impressive performance with some humor injected into the show. My personal favourite dances were (1) the Rickshaw Dance. It was quite funny and it showed us the days in the early 19th century and (2) Traffic Police Dance. Yes, those were the days when the policemen were mostly Indians and wore shorts! (3) "The Fluttering Romance", where the 2 performers danced (flew) around the air with the support of 2 long red cloth (supposedly the curtains of the newly-wed's bed. Erm, don't ask me how this is linked to the "Lion City" theme.

The finale was the most hilarous part. A giantic comical looking Merlion was pushed out onto the stage and even had water jetting out from its mouth! And there were fountains in front of the stage too. Rain and Jaimie held hands, waved them in the air when "We are Singapore" was played and they sang out loud too. Wolfgirl, Clement and myself were half the time rolling our eyes and half the time laughing at the children.

This show will amuse the children very much but it was just ok for the adults. Anyway, thanks, Wolfie, for inviting us to the show which we would otherwise will not pay $128 per ticket to go!

Jaimie has been taking tap dance lessons for a few months. This is what she is capable of now. Not very good, not very coordinated, but I love her performance nonetheless. I think she has quite good showmanship! :DD *proud mommy*

Happy Children's Day 2011

Children's Day had always been on the 1st October but from this year onwards, it will be on the first Friday of October. Hmmm... why? I don't know! But it doesn't matter, as long as the children get to celebrate the day which is dedicated to them! Jaimie's Childcare Centre did a big celebration this year! They participated in a carnival which, while letting the children have lots of fun, attempted to break a Guinness record of having the most number of people doing a limbo rock (I can't remember the conditions lah~).

They even had a children's craft auction to raise fund in helping children fight the cancer.

After the carnival and Jaimie's usual classes, we checked in to Intercontinenal Hotel. I won a weekend stay at the hotel in a lucky draw! We decided to claim our prize on Children's Day as a present for Jaimie. Jaimie was thrilled when she entered the room and exclaimed "BEST PRESENT EVER!". Wow.

Jaimie enjoyed the faciliies in the room, played in the bathtub and watched TV till very late at night. I think she was too excited to fall asleep.

The next morning, we had our complimentary buffet breakfast at Olive. The food there was EXCELLENT!

Going for a dip in the pool after breakfast.

After we checked out and went home, Jaimie did her homework and off she went scooting with daddy. She had the BEST children's day, ever! :)