I want to place this down on record.
I need to put some serious discipline into controlling my temper. My tendency to flare into a foul mood is especially prevalent when I'm driving. This is when I would have a tendency to easily get very affected by the attitudes and behaviors (bad ones obviously) of other drivers.
Things get even messier if I'm in a lousy mood to start off with, for example after taking a wrong turn. Teeny weeny issues, stuff that would otherwise be trivial when I'm in a cheerier state of mind, would become a trigger point that sets off the time bomb within me. I'd experience a (as Angie would put it) 'Hulk out' event, in the middle of the PIE. I'd start uttering "tsk! tsk!" incessantly. I'd start hurling curses at whoever tries to cut into my lane. I'd start inching closer to the lane dividers whenever I feel others are doing the same in my direction - "You wanna play 'Chicken'?! Huh?! Come lah!!"
All these while, my poor girls would have to endure the ordeal of this horror ride. Little Jae, obviously affected, would whimper "Baba....baba.....baba....." in her car seat, beseeching a response from the driver indicating that everything's alright. When she realised that such a response wasn't forthcoming, she'd break into sobs. Mommy, badly shaken up herself, would face the uphill tasks of attempting to concurrently calm the tearful little one beside her as well as the swearing mad one in the driver's seat.
I've lost count of the number of times that in the aftermath, I have silently vowef never to lose control ever again. Never to bring hurt and fear to my girls ever again. I've lost count of the number of times that I have failed. Angie is right - so what if I win the meaningless tussle on the road when I risk losing everything else.
I want to place this down on record, that I'd put some serious dicipline and effort towards containing my temper.
There. That's a promise. One I make to my girls.
Monday, September 15
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 voices:
Clement,
Good of you to acknowledge the need for change and you are not alone in your quest to control your temper when driving. I think I am worse (I only drive myself around though). Over the last month I got out of my car twice at red lights when two taxi drivers had (1) dangerously cut me off (2) tried and failed to cut me off and then cursed at me. It's dangerous for a female to get out to confront her adversaries. And what is worse is that I told them I had their numbers and would hunt them down and kill their families and break their legs so they can never drive again. All the while I listen to Christian songs in my car and use this time to think about how I can be a better Christian and obey God and follow Jesus! How bad is that!
Oh dear, that makes it 3 of us who need better anger management. For me, it's not so much road rage but my impatience & intolerance of stupid mistakes getting the better of me every time. I can relate to the part where kiddo calls out to us in an attempt to diffuse our anger but we ignore them. I feel so bad EVERY SINGLE TIME.
But Faith has also learnt to use different methods to calm me down, and I try as much as possible to at least give her a weak smile or pat on her head to let her know she's still very much loved, Mummy just needs time to cool down. When the anger is not directed at her, Faith will say to me, "Mummy are you angry? Cool down for a while ok?" But when I give her my Sullivan (from Monsters Inc) roar, she gets such a fright that she's inconsolable. Oh well, let's all strive to control our temper.
MF - your forum/blog moniker is definitely a misnomer!
AF - Jae appears to be very sensitive to even slight changes in my driving habits/ emotiions. A horn, a little acceleration or even a quicker-than-usual turn or lane-change would be picked up by her. She'd then go "爸爸...小心...". That works for me most of the time, except when I'm fully "Hulked out".
Before each of us get our own anger management acts together, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we'd steer clear of one another on the roads. :)
No lah Clement...I am usually very meek what...
First off, you are brave to post on this, really. Well, this is precisely one of the main reason of me not driving... the other main reason coz' of $$, lah, haha! BUT, I LOVE self-driving in New Zealand where the land is vast!
Nice song there... Let's strive for perfection ya? Your girls are surely blessed to have you :)
Stay COOL my friend ~ and keep posting leh :P
朋友曾经跟我说过：
人家气我我不气
我若生气中他计
要是气死没人理
想想还是别生气
在此与你分享，希望有助你控制脾气。
Post a Comment