Finally we have implemented the "Naughty Corner".
Jae is undergoing toilet training. She can tell us when she needs to pee or poo. However, we discovered that when she was doing her favourite activity such as watching TV or playing, she would rather do it on her diapers than to disrupt her activity. Having realised that, we have decided that she needs to be disciplined if it is not the case of an accident.
If it happens outside, I will spank her on her thighs while changing her diapers.
If it happens at home, she gets a spank on her thighs and stands at the naughty corner for about 2 minutes.
In both cases, Clement will play the mediator's role. He tells Jaimie why she gets disciplined and makes her apologise to me. After that, she has to verbalise that she will tell me when she needs to go to the toilet. And, I will tell her again why she needs to do so.
A lot of talking needs to be done!
We have been discussing for some time where the naughty corner should be. We didn't want it to be a place where happy and peaceful activity takes place such as the bedroom. We didn't want it to be away in one corner which we cannot see what she is doing at the corner. We didn't want somewhere dark and lonely (such as the yard) to frighten her. Finally we found a "perfect" place. It was between the entrance to the bedroom walkway from living room, where the common bathroom was. There was a right-angle wall which we asked her to place her hands so that she will not move about. We didn't deliberately look for the "right place". It happened that she urinated on me one afternoon and after cleaning her up, I furiously put her there and declared that it was her naughty corner. After that, I realised that it was a good place. We make ourselves disappear into the bedroom and let her be alone for 2mins. After that, we came out one by one to talk to her and to reconcile with her.
I asked her whether "Naughty Corner" is a good or bad thing. She replied me "bad". Great. At least we know she feels uncomfortable there. This will be part of the "discipline package" from now on.
These are posed pictures and Jaimie is showing signs of discomfort when she is asked to stand at the naughty corner and holding the wall.... oops!
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Hey, Vincent's naughty corner is also in similar area wall near the common bathroom. But we have a larger wall space so I will force him to face the wall.
But alas he keeps moving away from it and cling on to me crying so I have to force him stand still face the wall.
Aiyo, you sure it's a good idea to punish her while toilet-training? Seems so stressful leh. I don't know, maybe it's cos I'm totally laissez faire when it comes to toilet-training... I mean, I don't even train. I just let her be. I believe they'll reach a stage when they'll swear off diapers for good.
On some days (usually on days when she's unhappy), Faith'll decide to take a poop in her diaper instead of going to the toilet. But I don't make a big deal out of it and I'll just ask her to go to the toilet next time. Also, I realised it's only when she's in diapers (when shopping or when she wakes in the morning) that she poops in her diapers. Otherwise, when she's in her undergarment, she usually holds till she reaches the loo. Maybe cut Jae some slack?
Sometimes I find mommy's disciplining stance a little harsh too, so I'd step in to moderate it a little lah. In this case, Jae gets punished not so much for the act of pooping in her diapers, but rather for deliberately disobeying our instructions to her i.e. inform papa/mama when she needs to go poop. We have already established that she can do that consistently at other times, so with her it is now no longer a matter of ability but conscious decision and choice.
I don't think it is a good idea to have disparity in response when it comes to teaching Jae the consequences of not following our direct instructions (i.e. sometimes punish, sometimes don't). hmmm...so we either carry on with this practice or keep silent altogether wrt pooping matters. will think thru this...
Yes the most diffult thing about discipline and obeying instructions is consistency! I have my moods, children have theirs too...
Maybe Clement and Angelcow can do a SOP for us to share, *hehee*
No need SOP lah. Just show Vincent "The Lion King". It is through this cartoon that we reinforce the message that "you'd get punished for deliberately disobeying your parents" (you know, that scene where Mufasa lectured Simba for disobeying his instructions to not go beyond the borders of Pride Land).
The Lion King is also where Jae learns about the issue of mortality too. :)
I'm glad it's naughty corner instead of spanking!
I give my kids quiet corner too. I make them face the wall! Mian-bi-si-guo!
Ya I understand the part on not following specific instructions. I guess I'm always fearful of a child having negative associations with things like eating or peeing/pooing because their bodily functions are beyond the parents' control. In the extreme case they might actually start holding back on peeing or pooing... which was what happened to one of our June tots and he ended up with UTI.
Certainly agree on the bit abt some things that are beyond parents' (and the child's too) control, and yes, surely it wd not make sense to punish the child over these things.
Got to clarify here that the habit that we are attempting to inculcate in Jae is for her to inform us when she needs to pee or poo. It is therefore not so much of a concern that eventually did it in her diapers or not - there'd be times, e.g. while onboard a coach journey, that you can't expect her to hold. As long as she manages to inform us before letting go, she'd get our praises. We'd therefore figure that the converse should apply too. Jae has demonstrated that she is able to follow this piece of instructions rather consistently. On those occassions when she didn't, it was clear that she had chosen not to, because she didn't want her current activity (e.g. watching TV, playing toys) disrupted.
Oh, what I do is that I'd assure Faith that I would wait for her to come back before resuming reading, playing, or for DVD, I would pause it -- cos they're concerned abt missing out on the action lah.
yah lor. I'd gladly call for a break for Jae to do her biz too, but for me to do that, she'd first need to let me know she needs to go pee/poo mah.
The photos were 'posed'? Wow, Jae can pose at the notti corner and wait for you to take her pic? Did you instruct her to act pathetic too? Cos she looks so sad... (sayang sayang)
---I give her a Golden Wolf award for best actress!!!!! (applaud, applaud!)
I will start Notti corner too...
Yays! for finding a good spot for naughty corner and Oops! for the posed pics.
Harlow...
just to share: my Ah-Yi is a occupational therapist working with young children. She mentioned to Mummy that she learnt from her lecturers that it's not good to call it "naughty corner" cos the word "naughty" is like re-enforcing to the kids that they are naughty.
"thinking" corner is a better phrase.
no, I don't have a "thinking" corner at home. I am made to face the "wall" when i misbehave outside though.
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