Of Blogging and Parenting

I'm not sure what's this emotion I am feeling after reading Noelle's post and the comments that appeared on her blog that came in response to that particular entry. Skepticism? Incredulity? It's a mixed sort of feeling that something isn't quite right, with a bit of anger thrown in when I put myself in her shoes.

Ok, maybe I am over-reacting here, but this happens to be something I feel quite strongly about. A large part of this blog is dedicated to logging in events that happen to me and my family, including thoughts, expressions and beliefs on parenting issues. If you are reading this, then you might be interested to note my take on blogging and parenting and in extension, my take on you should you choose to leave comments here regarding these two topics.

Don't Tell Me What I Can or Cannot Write

I certainly welcome and appreciate sincere comments and feedback, but that doesn't mean you get to tell me which are the stuff I can write about and which are the ones I should keep private. I own this blog (ok, jointly with my co-author), so I damn well can write anything and everything I feel like and post 'em up here, without having to moderate my entries to cater to what I think other people like or dislike to read.

Freedom to Comment

For many people, blogging is not necessarily a private thing. The fact that we set up blogs and launch our thoughts into cyberspace implies that we want them to be shared with others. Sure, blogs can be configured to limit the extents to which comments can be posted. I've chosen not to set any. Why should I? Spammers aside, I believe that everyone is entitled to his opinion and if someone feels differently about something I blog about, he ought to have the liberty to express it here. I would be happy to hear any views, supportive or otherwise. BUT, that doesn't mean you get to tell me which are the stuff I can write about and which are the ones I should keep private.

Mister Anon

While I am all for freedom in commenting, I hold a certain prejudice against people who post anonymously. I mean, if you don't even have the moral courage to put a name (an alias, even) to your convictions, why should anyone even give the slightest damn to what it is you're saying?

My Kid, My Responsibility

I believe that parenting is something that is very personal and subjective and that there is no such thing as "the right way of parenting", only preferred way(s). And preferrence is absolutely the prerogative of the parent, just as responsibility of brining up the child is. You make a decision to become a parent, you jolly well make sure you live by that comittment. Barring extreme (i.e. legal) restrictions, how you do that is wholly your business. No two kids are alike and to tell others to conform to any set of prescribed or recommended parenting guidelines is extremely obnoxious and presumptious. Try it on me and you'd see how I ask you to fly uncle charlie's kite yourself. Just as you don't get to tell me what not to write in my blog, you do not get to tell me how not to bring up my child.

Carrots & Sticks

I'm a strong believer that everything, including parenting should have the yins and the yangs. Too strict and you might end up with an unhappy, rebellious child. Too lax and you'd get a spoilt kid. To achieve the balance in parenting, however, is certainly no simple feat. You've got to constantly calibrate your response according to your continual assessment of the child's temperament as well as the specific situation and environment, on a case by case basis. While positive reinforcement is something we consciously practice with Jaimie, there're ocassions where we'd wield the stick rather than award the carrot. Even when dishing out punitive actions, there is also an entire array of possibilities ranging from verbal lectures to physical punishment. Depending on the severity of the situation, Jaimie gets it from us at both ends of the spectrum, plus everything in between.

To Noe, I wish to say that you've all the right in the world to exercise blogging freedom, just as you do for putting in your best in raising your 3 kids. Blogging and parenting are two things that we blogging parents shouldn't have to accept any crap from others.