Monday, July 30

A Promise I Made to Myself

Clement had to perform a 12 hour standby duty on Sunday. Hence i took the opportunity to leave Jae with my mom and spent the entire day clearing my marking. Before I went to pick Jae up in the evening, I went to MOS burger to have my dinner and there I witnessed a "Grade F Parenting".

The family of 4 were waiting for their food to be served and the little brother somehow got into a little fight with his elder sister over a folded aeroplane. I didn't see which of the 2 children was in the wrong but the parents' reaction to the little fight was definitely wrong, in my eyes.

The father, who was sitting opposite the boy, bent over the table and pointed his index finger at his son's nose and shouted at him for shouting at his sister. The mother was sitting beside the boy and she used her index finger to jab at the boy's head serveral times and further reprimanded him. And then she crushed the 2 paper aeroplanes her children were playing and threw them on the table angrily. When the food was served, she angrily asked her son which burger he wanted and while muttering some scoldings under her breath. I could not hear what the boy answered but it invited MORE scoldings from his fuming mother. The woman brutally tore open the wrapper and shoved the burger into the boy's hands. I realised the boy was already in tears. And throughout my meal in MOS burger, I could constantly hear the parents scolding the poor boy. The boy noticed that I was looking at them and he looked embarassed. I tried to look away but I could not help but to look at them again when I heard somemore angry voices.

I promised myself that I will never, never raise my voice at Jaimie during these times of the day: (1) morning when she just woke up (2) during a meal time (3) when putting her to bed. Personally I feel that these are the 3 most important time of the day. I dont want her to feel lousy when she woke up, I dont want her to eat her food in tears and I do not want Jaimie to go to bed with unhappiness. And these 3 time slots will be the time I will use to "patch up" with her if I had disciplined her earlier. Mealtimes and bedtimes are supposed to be happy time. I just dont want to ruin it nor ruin it further. And I am sure there are other ways to discipline a child besides raising voices and other physical punishment during these times.

Jaimie hasn't reached the stage whereby she may drive me up the wall at times. But nonetheless, I will try my very very best to keep to this promise I made to myself.

4 voices:

stardust said...

I always feel *heartpain* after I scold Vincent. This feeling is guilty horrible.

Especially when he throws tantrum and throws things, runs around the house refuses to go to toilet change his diaper or eat his medication, he will jump and scream to protest, etc. It is worse when we are rushing for time and I have to force carry him do things. *sighz*

Clement said...

So far I have found it impossible to GENUINELY flare my temper at Jaimie leh. Those ocassions where I reprimanded her, they were because I thought that to be the right thing to do under those situations, and artificially put on my stern face + voice accordingly.

I am under no illusion that things wdn't change as she grows up though.

Aces Family said...

Hi Angelcow,

It's always easier to judge when you are on the other side of the table.

Being a mother of a 5 & 3 years old, i think i can empathise with the couples.

This does not mean i agreed with their actions.

Probably the parents's action toward the boy was not just due to this small fight but accumulated from some other unhappiness.

Boys are definitely very different from girls, in term of behaviour and also testing the parent's patience limit.

Some children are easier to disciplined than others.

Just my thoughts and experienced.

regards,
astee

Angie said...

Yes, boys and girls are different and every child is different. As you have said, it's always easier to judge when I am on the other side of the table. hence as an observer, i take it as a lesson learnt and will remind myself not be behave that way when i'm in that situtaion.