"The 5 Words" Thread

There has been quite an interesting exchange of emails recently and I thought it it worthwhile to chronicle these airing of views, rather than letting them dissappear in your email thrash bins. This one is extracted from the string of emails initiated with a forwarded mail titled "The 5 words" sent by Shu.

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On 25 Feb 06, TERRY said :

Great stuffs.....

Just been through a long and tired week.... AA 2006 followed by real
ops activation for S Raja. Been away from my wife and children for many days...
just back... will be away again for exercise for another 4 days from Mon....feel so sorry for my family... but, what to do....Many thoughts... seen many people cried for him and many said good stuff of him...

Just realised this: when you walk till the last moment of live and there are people who will come all the way to pay their last respect, cried for you etc... you have changed and influenced someone's else lives... you have made a difference... and it is worth yr live....

think about it.... for sharing....

On 27 Feb 06, ANGIE said :

this is exactly the reason i love to teach. i think i can make a difference.

The starfish story may sound very cliche to some people, but that is what i truly believe.

YP

On 27 Feb 06, SHU said :

I don't have any delusions of grandeur of changing, influencing, moulding (and what have you) people's lives. That's why I am not a teacher. I am a simple man. I just walk the Earth for the duration of my lifetime, and then hope that those whose lives I have touched in that process would not think badly of me when I pass on.

Plus, I don't believe that a life's worth is measured in terms of the number of people who comes over to cry, or say pleasantries upon a death. PLUS, I am really doubtful with regard as to the percentage of those who went to Raja's wake, who really knew him and his contributions to the nation, and who are not simply regurgitating out standard lines that are generically and universally applicable to almost anyone at his/her deathbed. Call me cynical, but what I heard on TV e.g. he is a good man....he is very friendly and approachable......he has no airs......can
be applied to almost anyone who is not some rapist or murderer, when they die. People tend to be kinder to dead people. I think the only unique thing that those of our generation and beyond can say about Raja is that he wrote the S'pore Pledge.

Apologies for rambling and being negative. I always get chided by YP for this. She says I always look at the cup and say that it is half empty. I guess she is right. And I guess that's how we complement each other - the Dreamer and the Cynic.

Forgive me for all these crap talk, my friends....It is a Monday morning and I am having a headache. Perhaps getting some cynicism out of my system if my way of coping with Life. So, thanks for listening......

SHU

PS : Terry, thought you have spoken to your boss earlier about 'lying low'? Appears not to have much effect....Well, I suppose that is the way things are in this world - what you want may not be what you get; dream and reality usually do not coincide.....

PPS : Ray, understand you are now in India, for 3 weeks. That is a long time to be away....Take care.....when you come back then we go out for drinks again...

On 27 Feb 06, ANGIE said :

Actually, the part about touching lives and making a difference applies
to work and to my future children.

The most fundamental principle I believe in, and i believe strongly in,
is to live life to the fullest and happiest, with no regrets. in short,
i want to die with a clear conscience. and when the people around me
pass on, i want to have a clear conscience to towards them too. it is
because of this belief that i do not fear death.

And for the same reason, i believe in forgive and forget. i think it is
meaningless to get even with one another, or think that some pain or
hurt that was inflicted on us is so unforgivable that you must go all
the way out to punish the other party for doing so. "when you are angry
with somebody, you are simply punishing yourself" is a wise line i came
arcoss when i was reading some buddist books. All we have to do,
sometimes, is just to let go of our pride and "self- centeredness". and
in this way, i think, the world is a much better place than you actually
think it is.

I came to realise this when i was having some disputes with Shu some
time ago. I was very angry with him over an incident and the "normal"
cycle would be: i dont talk to him--> he doesnt talk to me either --> i
become angrier because he is not talking to me --> he is also getting
angrier because i am angry and he doesnt know why i am angry --> i am
angry that he doesnt know why i angry --> i start to point my finger at
him --> he says angry words and gets defensive --> we fight --> fight
escalates --> i cry until i hypervantile -->.... by the time we patch
up, we were both exhausted. then one fine day, when i find myself at
stage one, i decided that i shall not do the normal cycle. just brush it
aside and start a conversation (like talk about the weather). and it
actually saved us all the heartache and drama.

All of us are given a certain amt of time to live to earth. if you
decide to get angry for one minute, you have one minute less to be
happy. so, to have a clear conscience is very important to me. if Shu
pass on before i do, i want to be able to look at him at his face and
say, with all the constraints i have, i have done my best to make you
happy. and if i were to pass on first, i will be able to bid him
farewell with a smile.

I am not trying to preach anything over here. I am just sharing with you
all what is important to me. and what is not.


Cheers,
YP the dreamer

p/s: actually i dont dream very much. :) i am quite a down to earth person with a lot of wild ideas.

On 27 Feb 06, WM said :

To the Ng-Ng couple,

Good that you share your inner thoughts with us. Singles like me should
also benefit from it, though I do not have much say on relational issues
as compared to married couples who truly experience the ups and downs of
a blissful marriage and the upbringing of the future generation.

I believe our creation and existence on tiny earth had been
pre-destined, and every human being born to this planet has a purpose to
live on despite how miserable the present state may be. Not living for
fame, wealth, status, luxury and definitely not living for pride, our
common enemy.

Yes, life will be meaningful if we realise that our walk on this earth
is short, like a roll of toilet paper, it will be used up faster towards
the end. Not that we have to accomplish everything we perceived as a
"must" before we breathe the last breath, but rather to treat our life
on earth as a journey immersed in a test ground through which our
character will be toughened and our love for each other strengthened.

The best use of life is to love.
The best expression of love is time.
The best time to love is now.

So much for now, ta-ta.

On 27 Feb 06, SHU said :

Wah....you very subtle leh, WM. First the mention of "Ng-Ng" and then followed by the toilet paper remark to tie-in with that earlier sound reference. Very clever hor....?

Anyway, I shall not dwell into philisophical discussion about the meaning of Life here. Only one comment :

Toilet paper does not get used up faster towards the end, 'cos the rate of usage of toilet paper theoretically should be a constant, regardless of how much paper is left in the roll. In other words, omega w (angular velocity) is a constant. Now since linear velocity = radius x angular velocity (v = rw), when the toilet paper roll is reaching the end (i.e. r is small), linear velocity v is proportionately small.

Therefore, the way I see it, the toilet roll analogy should be reversed (becos v is proportional to r). When one has the luxury of youth (lots of toilet paper), one should CHIONG, be adventurous and experimental. As age catches up (left a bit of toilet paper), one should slow the pace down, be more reflective and contemplative, and focus more on spending quality time with those who matter most.

How? Like dat say NGAM or not?

cc Bernard and YS - Hmmmm....maybe I should be the top student, not you two....

On 28 Feb 06, WM said :

Gee... thanks for the compliment, SH... but frankly speaking, it wasn't my intention to have the two phrases appearing in the same mail. I think it's just coincidental and you were witty enough to pick it up...

Hmm... your academic's theory dunno ngam anot but indeed very chim physics and philosophies...but one thing for sure is I will pull the toilet paper slowly towards the end to see how much is left and whether enough for use anot...

As for the CD, just name the date and place... perhaps can also dwell deeper into the toilet paper theory..

On 28 Feb 06, SHU said :

Ok....compliment already now comes the suan....

Orrrrrr.....WM dunno how to follow instructions! Cedric asked that we remove Ingrid's email address from the emailing list, but it still appeared in your reply below.

As for the gathering and follow-up discussion on "what to do when toilet paper not enough", we'll probably do it when Raymond comes back from his India assignment. Also then, Bn and YS should have completed their very taxing course, with one of them having emerged as top student.

For the time being, pls get ready your pictures on CDs (Yes, Pam, including your Marina and yusheng ones please thank you) and continue to live Life, walk the Earth, influence lives, laugh and cry.

Ced - I just combed my kitchen last night. Not one egg, not a single cent. For you, I'm just guessing here but could it be that your recent trip to Singapore was fully paid for by the earnings from selling eggs?