嗯，该怎么说呢？
最近，媛媛一直在道歉。只要我们稍微一提高声量，或者她感觉到我们的声音里有一点点的不悦，她就会说：“Mama/ Papa, sorry!” 如果我们再稍微凶一点或大声一点，她的道歉就带着哭腔了。我们观察了好一阵子，发现她的哭腔不是装出来的，而是她真的快哭了。而且，她也不是用“sorry”来逃避责任。因为有一次她顽皮弄掉了一些东西，我一时生气，就喊道：“你看！妈妈刚才不是叫你不要碰它了吗？”她马上又快掉泪了，说：“Mama, sorry!” 后来老公故意问媛媛怎么了，媛媛说：“媛媛不听话，妈妈生气了。”
对于这件事，我不知道该喜还是该忧。
喜的是，媛媛勇于道歉。她知道自己做错了事，于是就说对不起。忧的是，她怎么那么敏感，那么谦卑地一直在道歉？她是对自己没有自信吗？还是她很脆弱？这到底是好事还是坏事？
有时，甚至不需要道歉的时候，她也说：“Sorry!” 就像昨晚，她一直在床上辗转。我只是稍微严肃一点说：“媛媛！睡觉！”这是我一贯的语气和说辞。以前，每次搞她睡觉搞到我火大了，我都会这样说，甚至更凶一点，但是她都没怎样。昨晚，媛媛竟然说：“Mama, sorry! ”我真的不知道该怎样反应，只好摸摸她的头，柔声说：“好了好了，快点睡觉了。”
尽管很心疼她哭着说对不起，但是在必要的时候，我还是得硬着心肠继续斥责她，或者打她的手心一下以示警戒。这时，她的泪水就会决堤而出，哭得肝肠寸断似的，直到我们跟她拥抱和好。
因为她的敏感，我已经很久没有拿出藤条来吓唬她了，也没有动用到naughty corner。
是我太凶了吗？还是她来到了有 social awareness的阶段？
嗯，希望是后者。
4 voices:
It's good! I didn't realise it when Faith was going through this phase (where she was genuinely remorseful and apologetic) and still insisted on punishing her each time she makes a mistake. And then this phase passed. It was only then I learnt that we musn't punish our kids when they show genuine remorse, for they will end up thinking, "I really feel bad about it, but Mummy doesn't care, she still makes me stand in naughty corner." And so subsequently, they don't feel sorry anymore cos the end result is still the same.
I didn't catch it at the right time, so I hope you won't make the mistake I did! As parents, we know when they're faking their 'sorry's and when they mean it (as you said). So when I catch Faith in her genuine moment now, I will just let it slide and tell her not to do it again.
I am learning this now too with Iden. Similarly, when I can sense that it is a genuine remorse, I will not punish him.
it is good to get this kinda affirmation from parents who have gone thru similar experiences. thks for the tip, Diana.
Very familiar... Theophila was like this before and she is 100% genuine and very spontaneous... but, as time pass, it has since deteriorate to becoming an excuse to get away. Now we always need to remind her this "Sorry means you won't do it again." Hope you guys won't come to this stage...
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